Many women go through pregnancy enjoying each glorious waking day. I, on the other hand, ummmmm yeahhh…not so much?
So when I started to miss being pregnant a month postpartum, it clearly caught me and the whole universe by surprise. What did I miss? The kicks in my ribs, no. The waddles down the street? Well, not exactly.
Here are 7 reasons why you miss being pregnant…
You Miss Being Pregnant Because Their Was No Judgement
What is more enjoyable than walking through the grocery store while eating a bag of doughnuts? Doing it while pregnant! Not only did everything just taste that much better when you satisfied your cravings, but no one judged you one bit for doing it! No one cared if you were stuffing your face with a bag of Cheeto Puffs at the checkout or a chocolate bar in the produce section. In fact, they probably thought it was adorable! “Awwww the baby is hungry”…. yeah people, the “baby” is hungry.
Trying to do the same thing now just gets you looks of disgust and calls to the manager.
Mr. Nice Everyone!
Let’s face it, no one realllyyyyyy wants to be responsible for a pregnant lady to have an emotional breakdown. Stress on the mom means stress on the baby and you definitely don’t want to be THAT guy! So the best way for people to take precautions is to simply be nice! That screw up you made at work, nope, no one yelled at you! They just simply act like it was no biggie. That dish you broke – it’s okay! There were more where they came from. The people around you were 100 percent mindful of your sensitive status and acted accordingly.
Once you pop that baby out watch out! Their niceness disappears quicker than gravity did to your once perky boobs.
During pregnancy, the old “I need to wash my hair” excuse was as useless as your birth control method. When you got hit up to go out there was no need to come up with an excuse because you already had the best one – you were pregnant! Not only did people not bug you to go out as much anymore, but when they did invite you out, they expected you to say no! Tired, Moody, achy – you felt it and they knew it!
Now that the baby is out, there is no excuse. Your friends are smart. They have all heard of that thing called a babysitter!
You Miss Being Pregnant For The Acceptable Lazyness
“Don’t lift that.. don’t clean… let me get… you are pregnant for goodness sake”. Awww yes. Being pregnant gave you every excuse to be a lazy couch potato. You couldn’t clean due to chemicals, you couldn’t lift things that were heavy, you couldn’t tie your shoe without falling over. You were practically a worthless waddling penguin that laid on a special pillow and rested like an angel. No one expected anything from you until you were no longer hosting a human in your body.
It’s now time to pick up that bleach and get to scrubbing!
This Little Piggy
One of the biggest joys in life is food, right? So when you had a 10-month break from feeling guilty over every calorie you put in your mouth, life was good! No.. life was great!!! A jar of peanut butter for breakfast, a gallon of ice cream for dinner.. you covered it all!
But once you are no longer eating for two it is hard to justify those double bacon burgers dipped in cheese sauce. Nope, sorry…. now you are just a fat ass!
What You Missed About Being Pregnant Were the Looks
The looks. Ohhh the Looks during pregnancy. Yup, you still got honked at by trucks walking down the streets 8 months pregnant. You got looks of jealousy from some women who were silly haters. But mostly you just got looks of “awww how beautiful” from most everyone you walked by.
Now that the baby is out of your belly those looks of aww are gone and replaced with everyone looking at the milk stains on pants. Oh, and the bags under your eyes. Oh and don’t forget the fact your shirt is inside out!
Pregnancy not only gave you a baby at the end of the really long day, but it also gave you the most beautiful hair, skin and nails you had ever seen! Long strong nails that you didn’t have to buy at the grocery store. Hair that was so shiny and full it was as if it came straight out of that Herbal Essense shower commercial. The combo of hormones and vitamins made you glow brightly for 10 months, but then…things took a drastic turn.
You went from running your hands through your luscious full hair to now picking up that luscious full hair in handfuls off your shower wall.
<3 Hot Mess