First day of work, State of Origin, and Dating on Tinder

 I know  I know I know I know I know!!!!!

My Apologies for lagging on a new post for way too long now.  Life has been… well, life! Do not worry, you haven’t missed out on much.  My weekly 20 page paper writing obligation has drained me of all writing life. Lucky for us, that raisin ruining my blog is now over! My class starting next week is managerial accounting (puke) which will mean I will HAVE to blog to keep sane, so I think we are back in the clear 🙂 As of now, being so behind,  I have no idea where to begin so ll just start it with a picture of myself winning a 140 bucks on slots..cause that how I roll :).

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Well Holy freaking Cow!! It only took 2 months but I finally got a call from the temp agency for some work! With my money dwindling as fast as my self-worth was without working, and with only 400 dollars left in my bank account all I have to say is Hallelujah!  It has been almost 4 months since I have last stepped into a working environment,  and man ohhhhh man did the nerves start partying around my head. I just kept thinking..

Crap! What if I miss my buses? Or answer the phone like a weirdo? Or my boss is some random guy from Tinder?

I could only hope..

PLEASE don’t let me do anything retarded

PLEASE don’t let there be bitchy Sydney girls harassing me in the office

PLEASE do let there be an unlimited supply of Tim Tams and Coffee!:)

Having to wake up at 630 for the first time since February was straight up brutal.
This cant be real…its just a bad dream… shhhhhh just go back to bed.. and find that one missing sock off your foot already for goodness sake! 
After an hour of getting ready and packing my lunch consisting of huge meatballs that I prepared the night (why not?),  I took my 15 minute walk to catch my first bus. But, when I got to the bus stop, the stupid bus application on my phone had switched the bus numbers on me… and then again and again! Aw! What! Huh!?! Which Bus! I started freaking out big time, it was quite the scene for the onlookers. I swear the app was just making up bus numbers and letters just  to fuck with me. I am still a beginner in using public transportation here people, this was just not cool my first day of work! On the positive side, the bus ride was very scenic!Though, I could of lived without the smells.
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After an hour and a half of running around town like a chicken with her head cut off and sitting next to smelly people on the bus,  I finally arrived at the office and in one piece believe it or not! Right away when I walked in I noticed this was an interesting atmosphere. Everyone in the office was in their late 30’s and 40’s and everyone in the office was a proud owner of a  vagina!  Not a single male! Was this a cult? All the women were friendly as can be, and began smothering me with cookies and tea before putting me to work. My job entailed entering membership information into the system, processing payments, guiding members through the application process blah blah blah… Eassyyyyyyyyy Peasyyy boring and ..wait for it ..wait for it… BORING!!!  I started losing my mind within the first hour of data entry. I was already planning what I was going to eat for dinner 4 days in advance and created a whole new concept for a new painting I am starting next week. But hey, I was just happy to be making some money and be back being productive for an organization again, so I kept a positive attitude and kept slaving away while fighting the coma of boredom.  Oh, and the 4 O’clock  daily wine hour helps out a bit too 🙂
Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure
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The State of Origin

IMG_3062Like I really needed any more convincing that I was meant to live in Australia after realizing they pronounce the H in herb like I have my whole life and American society told me I was WRONGGGG Pfft!.. Sorry, anyways.. I naturally fell in love with their most popular national sport, Rugby!!! After 28 years of never being able to fully “get into” American football minus the Super Bowl, it’s taken more no more than 19 seconds to completely involved with this awesome game,  especially watching the State of Origin at the pub with the locals. The State of Origin is the annual best-of-three series of rugby league football matches between the two Aussie States NSW ( that’s us) and Queensland (that’s the other people) . My roomies and I all recently went to the Brooksvale Hotel to watch the big game, game 2 out of 3 in the series.  Many people are dressed in their state colors (blue or red) sitting in front of the big screens with beers while screaming at the tv. One old man even brought his own huge bag of pototoe chips and was smacking away with his beer in his right hand and his left hand in his pants… just chilling… as if he was on the couch in a mates living room.  I  personally do not understand how the players are not breaking their bones every 4 minute with the amount of body contact they encounter.  I just feel like I am waiting any second to see some random bone pop out of their bodies.. so as you can see….. its quite exciting!!!
I think my American positive vibes were vibing strong cause we ended up winning the game when no one expected us too!! GO NSW! Winning clip is below. I can’t wait to go to a live Manly rugby game next month with friends..
Side Note:  Soooooo.. anyone want to go see a live Manly rugby game next month? 🙂


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Most of the questions I have been getting from people have had something or another to do with dating or boys. It’s as if everyone just assumed (or hoped) I would come to Australia and fall in love first thing and that would be that. Well, sorry to break it to you guys but, I have been “dating” regularly for about a month now, and all I have to say is, it’s (cough) “Bull shit”.
When in the did dating become so impossible, confusing, causal and retarded?”
Message here. Facebook request there. Instragram follow here. Pretty sure this puts every guy automatically in the friend zone whether I realize it or not. Knowing too much about some via social media is never a good thing before meeting them.. NEVER.

With apps like Tinder, dating has become so causal it’s like you never even know if you are on a date.. Or the persons intentions.. Or even YOUR OWN intentions. Is this lunch just lunch? Friends? Drinks? More? Trying to get in my pants? Taking me to a nice dinner? Really trying to get into my pants? I never know.. Ever! Especially since I am using the site for both friends and dating, I feel like guys are probably just as clueless as me. Nothing really ever makes sense…whatever I am doing, I am all over the place doing, and the only way to describe it, of course, is by saying it’s a HOT MESS.

Tinder has led up to its expectations of being just as ridiculous as I expected. That’s what happens when you try getting to know someone off of purely no info and only 4 pictures. Within a few messages, I can already tell their idiots and move on to the next one. I don’t consider it to be all bad though. By accident or by bad dates gone wrong, I have indirectly made some really good friends from it. Whether its getting stood up, ditched for an ex, having the guy get too trashed and in a fight, or have him forget his wallet after dinner, all the shitty situations have led me to some good friendships from random people I met those nights. And some guys I met up with were actually pretty cool, not datable, but cool to get to know.  So obviously I can’t completely knock it.
But  I do have Tinder to thank for officially introducing me to a new breed of douchebag, the Australian strain.  They resemble and have many similar traits with the Orange County DB’s but with a slight Australian twist.  This twist is that  they tend to be a bit more slick -that I cant tell if they are being ass holes or not till it’s too late.
They are a smarter hybrid than the ones back home, which makes them more dangerous, and with their accidents… practically lethal!!!!
My two roomies have not been approving of my guy choices, they are putting their foot down on my Tinder operation. It appears I need their approval before meeting up with anyone from Tinder, as they can spot the douchebags within seconds compared to my 2 weeks time. With a number of chicks in Sydney, I feel like guys don’t even have to try and spit game due to them being so out numbered. And I’m sure, with something like Tinder, they are all just a kids playing in the playground…
Out of all the billion of matches of the stupid thing, I  am finding that I am meeting up with the extreme. The guy is either as boring as a book on flags, with conversations being completely dull, or the guy is quite witty but only wants one thing!! Uh huuuhh!They all just want the S don’t they? That’s right, SANDWICHES! well, and then the other thing too:) I am way past the point where hook ups suffice.  I want to date. I want my damn door opened. I want to hold hands. I want to care about a boy. I want the opportunity to get into a huge fight for no reason just because I have someone to fight with! Two years of being 100 percent single have plenty of time for me to figure out what I want and what I don’t. I don’t care how cute they sound when they talk or how sexy they look when surfing, no settling. I miss the days when you just got introduced to someone’s friend and just hit it off. What the hell happened to that huh?
Ah, that’s right… I need the “friends” part first…. see my dilemma? :/
Below is what I am dealing ! The third guy’s profile sums up Tinder pret-ay pret-ay pret-ayyyy good…
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I am almost at the 3-month mark now!!! No, not with an Aussie baby – but with living here in Sydney and my life is completely settled in, FINALLY.

Income — CHECK (at least for now). I have worked at this company for two weeks now, and yes, I have now made the buses my bitch 🙂 I am still going bonkers with the boredom of the work at hand, or the work I make up for myself to do just to stay busy. I also go to the bathroom ever 20 minutes and do some lunges. It is a necessity with all the cookies these women stuff down my throat. I truly cant wait till I am back in a position that challenges once again.

New roomie – CHECK! So now I live with not one but TWO  boys from Tasmania. Ferg moved in a few weeks ago and so far so good. He recently graduated with his Masters in architecture and is currently working a the bar in front of our flat. So he will come in handy when I am thirsty and need shit built. And he sleeps with his door closed which is a relief. People who sleep with their door open are just asking for demons..

Both roomies have cool girlfriends – CHECK!  Phew!  What a nightmare my life would have been otherwise.I lucked out that 2 out of the only 10 cool Aussie chicks I have met ended up being the bosses of my roommies.  We are currently in the process of turning one of them into a rapper.. stay tuned:)

Gym membership, home office, cooking, yoga – Yup yup and yup!

My life really is back to normal, it is as if I am not even in a foreign country anymore. But with this sense of settlement comes my normal life stresses and problems that I had back in the states. Still in need of money… Still looking for a guy to keep my interest for longer than it took me to write this sentence… Still on the hunt to forward my career job and still constantly stressed out with my MBA program. Same shit, different country. Or is it? There is a big difference.  I am more content with these stresses and problems in my life now while here in Australia. I feel like I want things even more, but worry less. My problems do not seem so bad when here, it’s odd.. Its like  my mind naturally ends every bad thought with, “but I am in Australia”, and that calms me down. Which is funny cause I know most people would probably have the opposite effect and think BUT I AM IN AUSTRALIAAAA AWW! 🙂

Everything is the same, yet everything is different and I am just arranging the pieces as they come my way <3


<3 Hot Mess


  1. Your blog makes me miss living in Syd. I also got into rugby when I was there, my husband is from QLD so it’s only natural I routed for the maroons 🙂 Dating in OZ is different, one of the lines I always got was “Want a visa?” like that would really make any girl swoon. Good luck on the dating scene, there’s those nice Aussie guys out there.

    1. Haha thank you! Ya I have a got the visa line a couple of times.. I tell them to wait till my visa is about to run out haha 🙂

  2. OMG you need to let fate get you a date! Those profiles naked posing? Asking for threesomes? WOW! Glad you got a job albeit boring but it’s money! Enjoy Melbourne! Can’t wait to see your adventures & more photos

  3. Reblogged this on mini2z and commented:
    A great blog to follow, one young ladies adventure in Australia

  4. They leave a lot of things out of the tourist brochures like the amount of snakes in Byron Bay and the Man drought in Sydney. In terms of meeting someone, I don’t think you can go past meeting someone in person through a friend. I think the whole online dating scene turns into a smorgasboard with so much out there that it is very hard to make a choice. There could always be something better out there. Ballroom dancing is a suggestion. xx Rowena

  5. Michelle,
    You are an extremely gifted writer!!!!!! Please, do us all a favor and keep it up!!!!


  6. You are hilarious, I love your natural writing style! Thank you for finding me so I could find you 🙂 I’ve been considering moving overseas recently so I can’t wait to read more of your posts to get a better idea of what to expect. If you ever need someone to hang out with in Melbourne let me know! Also, lol @ Tinder Aussie blokes, they are dangerous creatures indeed!

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