The Mom Butt.
Something we have allllll been warned about from the beginning of time.
Is it real? Does the mom butt actually exist? Or is it just a mystical creature like Bigfoot or a baby that actually sleeps through the night?
Well, I am here today to tell you the mom butt exists alright, and I know the secret behind it. (no pun intended but will take the credit)
I will never forget my first encounter with the mom butt. There.. present.. large.. flattish… It looked long and sad yet wide with a glimmer of hope.
I always considered my mom’s butt to be the original mom butt. The Van Gogh of mom butts, you might say, as I would get a glimpse when I interrupted her showers. It never actually dawned on me that one day I would be the owner of her mom butt replica.
That I too, would completely lose my butt!!!
I mean, one day it was there, the next day, gone! Where the heck did it go? Is it hanging out on some beach in Australia chilling with my pre-baby boobs, pre-baby hair and a strawberry margarita??
How did my butt go from once plumb with attitude to a really really sad pancake in need of butter?
MY THEORY OF THE MOM BUTT
As a new mom, you are sitting down feeding for hours not concerned with the implant your butt is leaving on your furniture. You are busy feeding and caring for the mini you who needs the nurture you are providing wayyyyyy more than your butt needs Suzanne Somers at the moment.
You are so wrapped in baby baby baby baby, you unconsciously dismiss the butt muscle spasms that are crying out for attention. Like… You literally cannot hear your butt crying out for help because your baby’s cry is too dang loud!
No one thinks about their butt when they are functioning on 3 hours of sleep, a needy baby and boobs that are so full that milk is exploding from them.
These concerns go on for months and the neglected butt gets forgotten.
By the time you got some sleep, remembered your name, your plump beautiful butt has vanished.
Gone. Flatten. Deflated.
Why? Because you have been focusing on everything but the health of your homegrown seating pad.
But, have that as it may… Here is the thing…
The mom butt is like a badge of honor we wear on our tushies that say “I made a human, it was great, my vagina might not agree, but hey I am a mom. The best role anyone could ever ask for.”
So I say wear your mom butts proud!!
Flat, cellulite, chunky, or whatever you are lucky to have left for an ass. Show it off as the celebration it symbolizes. Loving, caring and nurturing another human being.
Unselfish love, no sleep, cold coffee, lego scarred feet, and rats nests for hair.
So even though our butts are much smaller than before, now, the mom butt represents something much much bigger than ourselves.
Salute to the mom butts everywhere!!!!
<3 Hot Mess