Yup, you guessed it!
It is time for this pistachio to write about dating slash love again. But instead of talking about trying to open up like Chapter 1, or my first attempt to in Chapter 2, or the dawn of the assholes like Chapter 3.
This one is once again a bit different.
A bit more like, holy crap I never really thought about that!?
I recently took a trip back home to Los Angeles to see my family and friends for the holidays. Though catching up with everyone was amazing, sometimes I still found myself wanting to high-five some people hard in the face!? In particular, with one conversation that caught me off guard multiple times. One that just ahhh, got underneath my skin when I heard…
“Michelle, I am so sorry you have not yet found the one.”
Cringe..
Wait… Still cringing…
How can I express the level of cringing that is still happening right now!?
Though I am 31 and yes, still single after many years, that doesn’t mean you should feel sorry for me. Especially if it involves anything about finding “the one”.
Feel sorry that my socks never match, or I can never keep my toothpaste tube clean, or properly close the lid to anything! I too feel sorry for myself.
I SPILL EVERYTHING!! But always smell like peppermint 🙂
So if it doesn’t have to do with my ability to open up cereal without tearing the box in 5 pieces, do yourself a favor and ehhh..shut up? Call me cynical, call me what you will, but I just think it is a quite silly concept when one runs the numbers. 7 billion people and we are only compatible with one? Ha.
But just because I do not believe in the one, does not mean that I don’t believe in the ones.
That’s right, let’s make it plural.
I don’t imagine there is one special person out there for us. Nahhh. Instead many compatible special ones we find throughout our lifetime.
Maybe one was a guy from college? Or a past job? Maybe that guy who just threw his burger in the trash? Or that guy who just picked it up and ate it? WHO KNOWS!
Which got me thinking (never a good idea) ..how many of “these ones” have I already met?
Over the past 15 years, I have been interested, fond of or possibly even in love with dozens of guys that I never pursued. Friends…co-workers.. random acquaintances? Boyfriends of friends, bosses, neighbors, oh buddy, you name it! I probably pictured them all naked with puppies in my bed at least a hundred times.
And over the past 15 years, I have been on dozens of amazing dates with great guys. Nice, funny, attractive, the kind you take home to your mom, guys. Yet for whatever reason, developing interest just never happened no matter how hard I tried.
So when looking back at all of these men, I realized there was one thing in common why it never worked out.
That stupid thing, awww crap what’s it called.. oh yeah, Timing.
Timing really is everything.
What if I said yes instead that one night with a friend? What if my office superior worked at a different office? Or what if that cousin was not my cousin and I could have..(JOKE. keep it together, I am from LA, not Utah)
It is rare for two people to experience the same mutual romantic feelings, exactly at the same time. Months apart, sure. Years, definitely. Timing has been and always will be a major factor in preventing feelings and relationships from forming.
Personally, not so much in the past 4 years, but from age 14 to 27, at any given day I can guarantee you that I was always thinking about someone. Most of the time probably someone I could not have.
I was too busy looking at the fruit juuuuust a bit above my reach… instead of paying attention to the delicious, low hanging fruit that was right in front of my face.
Tunnel vision you might say.
So how much has timing actually played a role in being or meeting “a one?” I am no genius..but I am thinking A LOT. So I guess the big question is….
How many of these “ones” are already in our life???
Do we continue to date a bunch of new people who cause calluses on our thumbs from swiping too much? Or should we attempt to reconsider and review all the people that have previously entered our life?
To Wrap Up
Just because timing was off at one point in the past, doesn’t mean it is off right now. I don’t think it would hurt to revisit some of the unnoticed opportunities you never saw before, even though you probably were staring right at it.
I am convinced we have met plenty of “the ones” in our lifetime. And many are in our life right now.
So it is now all about keeping an open mind with those we allow in moving forward. But always being mindful of those who we already let inside.
It’s just like going through your clothes rack or putting together a jigsaw puzzle. It takes time and effort to find what you are looking for. You have to go back and revisit what you have already seen a dozen times before you finally see what you were looking for.
Or, it dropped on the floor and you finally see it for the first time 🙂
If you missed it, begin at chapter 1 here 🙂
I totally agree. Not only are there multiple “the ones”… but they can also be “the one” for specific periods of time during your life. (Yes, I am the cynical divorcee. I do believe my ex-husband was “the one”… at that time in my life.) 😉
Aww I completely love your view 🙂