Random guy I met on Tinder picked me up in a bright orange car screaming out “CALIIII DOLLLLLLLLL” as he pulls up… I already knew I was in for an interesting one tonight.. Throughout the entire date all he talked about his love for the reality show The Real World, as it his favorite show (wtf?) and how he enjoyed playing Mario Cart in his spare time when he is not investigating stock fraud. I couldn’t tell if I was on a date with a 7 year old or 15 year old at this point, but was intrigued to find out. The whole night was my normal horrible date routine –

After 2 hours of complete torture on my end, I did my best attempt to ditch him to go have some fun on my own. In this desperate attempt,  this guy had  the balls to stick his tongue down my throat instead of the hug I was obviously going for.  At that point I had no choice, but to try and teach this kid how to kiss like a human being and not like a baby bird trying to get food out from it’s mothers mouth. I grabbed his face firmly and began instructing him on kissing 101 for about 3 minutes..I just honestly felt bad for the guy.  If he takes anything away from our date, I hope it is that he needs to stop watching Real World, join the real world, and give his tongue a sedative before he goes in for the kill again. 

Valentines Day when you are single can be quite the miserable day, everyone in love around you and you having nothing to love by the box of donuts laying next to you in bed.

Some girlfriends and myself decided to have our own fun Valentines Day and headed to Manly Beach for the Vance Joy concert on the beach. Once we arrived, we were looking at nothing other than a huge beach party taking over the entire beach in manly. Hundreds and hundreds of hipsters sitting on the beach enjoying the nice vibes of the sounds of the concert and waves. Vance joy was a real joy as he sang his hit songs giving us all music to feel and to dance to. Stupidly, in front of us were some really really drunk idiots who kept insisting on doing a 4 person tower like they were in cheerleading competition . They just kept falling over another and falling on the people around them. I blame their retarded behavior on the empty boxes of goon that were evident on the ground below them.

Right after his set was done it spontaneously started to rain.

We ran for cover to the nearest pub where we mingled and began discussing our plans for the night. It was this point in time where I realized I didn’t have an ID and was going t be shit out of luck of getting in anywhere in Manly, as they are the land of the door Nazis. I knew the only way for me to be able to go out in night in this town would be to get into the pubs prior to night time when they begin checking IDs. So, I ditched my friends and was on quest to make sure every door man in Manly saw my face before it got dark. I pulled the whole, “Walking in front with a drink pretending to look for someone“ act. I did the, “Let me talk stupid gabber with the bouncers about retarded stuff ” act. And I also did my favorite, which is, “Annoyingly keep walking in and out pretending to be on the phone so they for sure see you and know you are a loud american..  of age though!” act. Of course my brilliant plan worked so we were set for the night to have some fun. We dance and played pool till we couldn’t any more. Jumped on the last ferry home and in to McDonalds, where the story ends with a buffet of burgers in my belly and a random guy stealing my phone to take endless selfies of his creepy face.

   

DATE Highlight #2  – Smooth Cat Sammy 

Thunder Down Under is a popular Las Vegas show that I have always wanted to see of but sadly never did.

I thought this, THIS is what Aussie men are like before I moved here, to only move here and find out wellllll, ha…no no.. NOOO thunder ANYWHERE down under.

The second I saw that they were on tour in Sydney I picked up my phone and made reservations. That’s right, NO SHAME!  It was time for this girl to get some thunder! My emotions were a strong mix of very scared, but super excited at the same time, as I have never been to any type of male entertainment event. Once me and a couple girlfriends arrived at the venue, all you could see was a sea of women. I have never seen so many girls in such a small space before .. ever. There were bachelorette parties, birthdays anniversary, you name it, those girls were there..

Oh, and yea.. then just me, with the occasion of just wanting to see naked men? 🙂 We grabbed a bottle of wine and took our seats.

Boom flash lights music and MEN!!!! They all come out to some cheesy music wearing some cheesy costumes but all the while  the smile on my face could have not been any bigger. In fact, I think my face was so stuck on SMILE all night and my face was actually sore then next day. We spent the first 30 minutes of the show laughing and laughing as I think we were more uncomfortable with their dongs flying around more than anything. They would do a group number, and then a solo number, followed by bringing up girls on stage. At one point they brought 3 girls on stage to fake an orgasm for 10 seconds. I have to say, it was one of the best entertaining moments of the night. The old lady won with here amazing rendition from When Harry Met Sally. For my first male dancing show, I had a blast. I think I enjoyed it more than someone should probabl admit to?? Regards, hats of to those men…. or pants off to those men? it was quite the night!

 

After a long night out, I ran into a group of guys who were quite entertaining to talk to at my local bar.  One in particular was more interesting than the rest, as he reminded me of the singer from Nickleback- but English and with talent? He insisted on walking me home trying to appear to be sweet when I know in reality it  is the sneakiest way to try to get into girls pants.  I let the guy up, only to have him so drunk he passed out in my bed with his 80 pound boots and with more greasy hair on his head than a dirty mop.  With the way he passed out, I knew there was just no moving him, or even trying to sleep in there. I tucked him in and  put my butt on the couch. When I woke up I tried hours to wake him up, but he kept just doing the moan and groan and going back to sleep bit. I finally succeeded in waking him up after making a very loud BANG (Noise, bang noise).. got him a taxi, and sent him off!  It was now time to search for some bacon. Cause in the morning, bacon really is the only thing that matters.

Though I am leaving out many adventures, my first Australian summer was perfect.

Just perfect.

I do not think there is a better place in the world I could of had so many amazing  solo summer adventures.

Visa –  Well, for all of those who have been following from the beginning, I am more than pleased to announce that my 457 Visa was Granted, and I am now able to stay in Australia pretty much indefinitely.  Such a weight has been dropped of my shoulders knowing I can sleep tight at night with the option of permanently living in either country.  I am still madly in love with Australia, and have no intentions of moving anywhere else any time soon.

MBA –  I will be done with my MBA program in 5 weeks!!! So much life to be lived once I can stop working 12 to 14 hour days.  Almost time to check this goal of my list… almost!

Love Life – Well, ha.. I feel like there is never much of an update on this one, minus bad dates and ass holes. But, I am feeling optimistic about things going better this year.

Going home– I am about to go home for two weeks for my first visit since I moved out here a year ago. Words can describe how unbelievably excited I am, and quite scared that having to leave everyone once again might be harder this time around.  I have a lot planned for my trip home, which of course, will soon be able to view on here once I am back.

Apartment – I am actually homeless as of Wednesday, as my room-mates decided to pack up and move while I am out of the country in America. So soon there will be a new chapter starting, with new room-mates, in a new undetermined part of Sydney.

Click here to see more photos from my summer.