Cinco De Mayo in OZ, Gumtree and My First Australian Date

Cinco De Mayo in OZ!

Cinco De Mayo is very well known and popular holiday in California. It is a celebration of the Battle of Puebla (Not to be confused with the Mexican Independence Day in September) and everyone goes out drinks and celebrates this holiday with friends and Family. I know you’re thinking, but why you? You are American? Yes yes this is true, but the Mexican American population in California is so high, that it has turned into something Americans celebrate too. Plus, who says no to a party with Mexicans?!?!?  This holiday wasn’t even crossing my mind being out here in Sydney because Mexicans are nowhere to be found. I think I have met maybe 3 or 4 since I have been here. Additionally, due to this shortage, the Mexican food here suffers tremendously:( I  found out that The American Society in Sydney was throwing this huge Cinco De Mayo party and I knew I just had to go!!! Senorita Michelle is ready to go!

Authentic Mexican food? Pinatas? Mexicans? Yes, yes and yes! SCOREE!!!!

When mentioning this holiday to my Aussie roomies they just looked at me like “WTF did she just say?” Aussies are not too familiar with this holiday, well frankly, not a single one I know knew what it was. They thought I was making this shit up.  The ironic part of this party, was that everyone I met was from a different country (once again). I met one Mexican the entire night, and only a couple Americans.  The night was filled with delicious food, dancing, and a

 The night was filled with delicious food, dancing, and a weeeeeee bit too many tequila shots, but hey! It was for the Mexicans!!! 🙂 Happy to finally find some delicious food I could actually call Mexican. The night was a success even though the day after was quite the opposite  :/

            

Gumtree, Gumtree, Gumtree

While waiting for a call about a good job or credible one at least, I posted my resume up and a selfie on a website called Gumtree. Gumtree is equivalent to our Craigslist back in the states, where people informally post ads for: wanted, selling, work, etc. I was hoping with this post of mine, someone would contact me for a temp gig or something for quick cash like I have done before back at home. Unfortunately, the only responses I got were………..

Well… ermm……..not good?

I made the mistake of keeping my phone number on my resume when I first put the post up, I instantly started getting text messages from creepers.

Exhibit A.

Why do guys send pictures of their chest and not their face? Nice shirt Bro?

He got blocked real quick. Next, I got an email offer that was extremely definitely on the side of an odd job.

Exhibit B. Klaus, the kinky German

In addition to these two, I got texts from guys saying they could get me sponsored jobs and residency in return of a sexual relationship. How sweet reaalllyyyyyy.

It’s too bad I remembered to pack my self-respect and dignity on this trip.

In a nutshell, this is what I learned from Gumtree:

• Middle aged German men like getting spanked
• Headless guys will harass you if given your number
• SEX CAN GET YOU ANYTHING!

 My First Australian Date

I decided that it might be time for me to try and start “dating” here in Australia.  I decided to sign up for  Tinder, a new dating website. With this app, you simply swipe no or yes on pictures of guys to “match up”. Swipe to the right if you find them attractive, and swipe left if you do not.  Pretty basic. Or, as the guy I met up with said. “If they are cute enough to bang, then go right. “

The first guy that I swiped yes ended up meeting a match. Ding Ding. We text a bit back and forth and decided we wanted to meet. He suggested we do the Bondi Coogee walk and I thought that was a wonderful idea. Wow, a guy who isn’t trying to get me drunk on a date? This is new!

We met at Circular Quay where from there I was supposed to jump on his bike and we were to ride down to Bondi. This freaked me out because I have never ridden on a motorcycle before. I have always been way too scared to jump on to one, but  I decided Australia is the place where I am facing my fears! So on the bike I went.

(I totally Googled “how to ride on the back of a motorcycle” while on the ferry over, #noshame). It had to be the most uncomfortable situation I have ever been in. Like first dates aren’t already awkward enough!! Here I am hanging on to this stranger with my life, squeezing the crap out of him with my thunder thighs and banging helmets with him every 10 seconds. I was not much of a fan of it at all. I kinda just wanted to fall off and end the date there.  I just kept praying it would be over and tried not to remind myself we would have to eventually ride back home.

We finally got to Bondi Beach (Thank God get me off of this thing!!!!!) and it was very stormy.  He had given me his jacket to wear on the ride but noticed he was shivering and rubbing his arms while we began our walk. I kept insisting he take the jacket back but he kept refusing. Finally, his misery was just too much for me to watch and hear so I said I wanted to buy a jacket (Guys are so stubborn!) I got a jacket, gave his back and instantly his mood turned for the better. Geeez stupid boy, just take your dang jacket!

We began on the walk and had some really good conversations. I was happy to find an attractive, well-educated guy here in Australia who is Australian. He informed me on a lot of random things I never knew about Australia such as government and religion, and I just walked and listened the majority of the time.

At one point it started pouring down rain so we decided to head back.  He pulled me into a cave along the beach coast as we waited for the rain to stop coming down so hard. It was that type of situation where it could have been really romantic and nice.. but ummm…. hello!!! This is me we are talking about, AkwardMcGee, and additionally, I just wasn’t feeling it? Smart, good looking, sweet.. Something just was not there for me. He was missing something.  Oh right that’s it.. the most important ingredient. He couldn’t make me laugh. I do not recall laughing? Which is odd, because I swear I laugh more than I talk. This guy couldn’t even get a single giggle out of me. I could tell he was going to try and make a move in the cave, so to ensure that he didn’t, I said something stupid and then started running. Yeah, that’s how I roll:)

  

Once we got back to the main road, we sat down at the Bondi Hotel for some dinner and drinks. The problem was though that he would not stop talking about his ex-girlfriend. Blah blah blah blah blah!!! I was like get me out of here!!! Then, to find out a couple drinks later, that it is not even his ex-girlfriend.. it was his current girlfriend and they are on a break, or he’s not sure… it’s in this weird limbo stage. Regardless, I didn’t care for the guy enough to get involved with him when I thought he was single, now with all this baggage I just wanted to throw up.

 Regardless, I didn’t care for the guy enough to get involved with him when I thought he was single, now with all this baggage I just wanted to throw up.

Once this Aussie country boy started sobering up again, there we went on the dreaded bike back to the city. He got a bit more touchy on the ride back, which I found funny because I thought it was apparent I wasn’t into it. He kept trying to ask me if I wanted him to drop me back of at home and I just kept saying no no the ferry is fine, ferry please FERRY FERRY FERRY!!!

I was ecstatic to finally get off that scary bike again and to start heading home after such a long day. I said goodnight, gave him a huge and thought I was in the clear…. but no ohhhhhhh no, he grabbed my arm and went in for the kill!!!!  The kiss was okay… I have had better since I’ve been here and I have had worse.  The whole time during the kiss I was actually thinking about what flavor Gelato I was going to get while waiting for the ferry…

I ended up getting Nutella chocolate 🙂

Travelers 

Everyone I meet here is so worldly. I mean, WORLDY.  Everyone down here travels, this is what they do. They get the time off and they see the world. I meet travelers that go country from country and THESE EXPERIENCES they tell me about just blow my mind. Traveling is like an addiction, once you see a little, you need to see it all. Even as an educated person, I feel like a stupid kid when talking to people here.  Growing up in America, this sense of traveling is not something that was part of my upbringing, or many of my friends back home. We get 2 weeks off a year for the most part, and many of us just do not travel. And due to that, we are not as worldly as other countries, we are not as aware of everything else that is not in our little American bubble. I can’t sit here and tell you about this place or that place like my roommates can. I have been to Mexico and Germany.. wowowoowowoow!! 🙁 They have been to dozens and dozens of countries! They know so much history and facts about so many countries, I feel more and more like an ignorant American everyday. I wish it was mandatory that we had to study abroad in America because then we wouldn’t be so US-centric.  I can’t wait to start making money and travel more. I am craving it at this point and regret that I was never exposed to this lifestyle before this point.   I am just taking it all in, EVERYTHING and being thankful for all my life as brought me thus far, even though I feel so small compared to the world now.

Fill your life with experiences, not things. Have stories to tell, not stuff to show.

<3 Hot Mess